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Name: Cynthia
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Member Since: 6/4/2007

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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

well that was quite pessimistic..


i'm a little drunk and that's why i'm sure that this should be heard.
fuck being drunk. the alcohol is just emphasizing my passion.
this should definitely be heard. people are too blind and ignorant.

a governor was just elected into office in new jersey (my home state) that's against gay marriage

my little brother is gay. i love him with all my heart. he's a little man-whore right now but i thinks that's because so many people are interested in him and it's a new thing to him.  and whatever he's 18. we bust his balls but he knows we love him.
i just had a very long facebook conversation with one of my really good friends
i don't know if i ever want to speak to this kid again.
he is so IGNORANT
marriage is between a man and a woman
why? because the priests say so?
give me a passage in the fucking bible that says man and man can't love each other
or woman and woman?
why? because they are human feelings and not for reproduction?
how the FUCK do you know for sure that there are actual guidelines that mark what the fuck should happen on this planet?
my brother isn't a fucking defect that should be prosecuted as such
he doesn't like woman. i'm fine with that. my whole fucking family is (and believe me, my dad's one of 9 -with a gay sister - we have a big family)
and the fucking government is going to tells us that gays are bad?
that they cant get married like everyone else that feels strongly for each other?
fucking drunk people get married in vegas and get their marriage annulled a week later
my brother deserves as much as any other person on this earth to be able to be united with the partner they chose for the rest of his life.
who are these HORRIBLE politicians to say if its wrong or right?
they can't even stay true in their own lives. who says that they can judge anyone else?

i could split heads right now.
seriously, when is someone going to start a fucking revolution?
its been like, 40 years since the last one in the United States.
fuck their rubber-ball-pelting-guns. blow shit up.
tell them to fuck themselves.
i'm so mad.
i'm entirely not sorry for this rant.


fuck you governor chris christie.




i'd also like to add that my great aunt died today (11/3) and i  don't know how to deal with it without him and its scaring me. i can't believe i have to go to another wake and another funeral of someone i love without him supporting me and helping me get through. its like alcohol and weed has replaced his guidance and its the only thing i know. oh god, what have i become.

i've been finding all kinds of things to be upset about that i can deal with myself because i dont know how i can deal with another death in my family especially my grandmother's sister's death without him helping me through and loving me and lying with me, telling me that everything will be okay (i have only ever believed him). it just brings up two years ago when she died and then my grandfather and i can only think in those respects and i feel so horrible for not being able to think of aunt milly as her own death but the death of my grandmother yet again. i wish i had seen her again before she died. the last time i saw her was last spring.

why is there so much turmoil in the world? why does life have to be so painful?
sorry tonight it's just one of those nights
i think you all will understand.

i do not know. i feel absolutely lost.
again.


Monday, November 02, 2009

White Demon love song
At my heart
White Demon shadow on the road
Back up your mind there is a car
She hears it coming after all this time
She likes the way he sings
White Demon love songs in her dreams

White Demon where's your selfish kiss?
White Demon sorrow will arrange
Let's not forget about the fear
Black invitation to a place
That cannot change
Wild, strangely holey
Come for a break

White Demon, why didn't your hearts go?
White Demon, who let your friends go?
White Demon, why didn't your hearts go?
White Demon, who let your friends go?

Let us be in love, let us be in love
Let's do old embrace, let's do old embrace
I won't make you cry, I won't make you cry
I will never stray, I will never stray
I will do my part, I will do my part
Let us be in love tonight

White Demon, why didn't your hearts go?
White Demon, who let your friends go?
White Demon, why didn't your hearts go?
White Demon, who let your friends go?



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this made me lol, my housemates looked at me funny

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heaven?

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my friends call me fatty. i am in no way fat. it all started when i asked for a coke and the waiter asked me if i wanted diet.  so i'm known as the fatty even though you can slightly see the impression of my ribs.  somehow i love this nickname.


post later tonight. i promise = )


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

me make inspired


So pretty, so smart
Such a waste of a young heart
What a pitty, what a shame
What's the matter with you man?

Don't you see what's wrong, can't you get it right?
Out of mind, and out of sight
Call on all the girls, don't forget the boys
Put a lid on all that noise.

I'm, a satellite heart
Lost in the dark.
I'm spun out so far, you stop I start
But I'll be true to you

I hear you're living out of state
Running in a whole new scene
You know I haven't slept n Weeks, Your The Only Thing I See

I'm, a satellite heart
Lost in the dark.
I'm spun out so far, you stop I start
But I'll be true to you

I'm, a satellite heart
Lost in the dark.
I'm spun out so far, you stop I start
But I'll be true to you

No matter what you do
Yeah I'll be true to you



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